On Being Negative About Being Positive

Instagram envy had led to a belief that anyone who only shares the positive online is somehow being dishonest and deceitful. They are ...

On Being Negative About Being Positive

Instagram envy had led to a belief that anyone who only shares the positive online is somehow being dishonest and deceitful. They are curating a "perfect life" with a highlight reel of all the best bits while editing out the bad. These curated lives are "never as good as they look" and if it's too pristine and wonderfully pretty, then it's probably a lie - a "fake lifestyle that we all are guilty of putting out on the Internet."

We need to stop being negative about being positive.

Some people have nice lives with beautiful surroundings and good jobs, happy relationships and exciting lives. If you compare your life to theirs, if you make the presumption that their life is effortless and you feel negative about your own because of it, look away. Comparison never helped anyone. Social media has provided us with new ways of sharing content almost instantly with friends, family, and even strangers. It's given us multiple ways of connecting, supporting and appreciating each other and the experiences we share. We should be happy and excited not jealous and spiteful when we get to see a glimpse into other people's lives, countries, and cultures. We shouldn't be wishing to see something bad happen just to prove their life isn't as perfect as we've convinced ourselves it is.

"If you're jealous of your friend's life as it looks on Instagram or Facebook, the problem is not social media - it's you..."

Not only is it boring and unnecessary to share bad moods, petty arguments, and fleeting moments of "misery", it also reeks of first world problems. When I read blogs or look at Instagram, I don't want to see negativity and sadness, I want to find and appreciate the beauty in every day life - and that's OK. Everyone knows life has its ups and downs; we all get our own share of sadness alongside our happiness. Just because we decide to edit the bad moments out doesn't mean we're saying "these things never happen to us." We're asking you to assume we have bad days too but we don't want to talk about it.

I appreciate my life enough to know I've got it pretty good, "the bad" isn't all that bad and certainly isn't worth moaning about online. I make the conscious decision to only share positive content and beautiful things; I do not want to dwell on the bad or include the boring parts because they're boring and there (mostly and thankfully) aren't any really bad parts.

Wanting to only share the fun, the wonderful, and the beautiful moments isn't being dishonest or deceitful; it isn't lying to create a perfect distortion of the truth. It's saying, "hey, life is good and we only get one chance - let's celebrate it."



Relevant Reading:
| Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life
| Please Continue Instagramming Your Amazing Life
| Why Not Admit We Didn't Wake Up Like This
| I Woke Up Like This
| The Comparison Trap: Your Life isn't a Highlight Reel
| The Myth of the Effortless Life
| On The Matter of "Curating," the Snob Effect, and Jumping on the Bandwagon
| Candid Thoughts on Bloggers' "Perfect" Lives
| Let's All Admit We Have Sh*t Days

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80 SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

  1. This is a brilliant post. I agree wholeheartedly! I've never understood why sharing the good parts online would be such a bad thing.

    xx Mimmi, Muted Mornings

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  2. I totally agree! This is exactly how I feel.

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  3. Completely agree, loved this post. Spreading positivity/happiness is the only way forward - I do not log on to social media to be greeted by people complaining about their issues and the bad things in their life. Focus on the positive, always x

    shonarose.blogspot.com

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  4. I've been thinking about this a lot lately! Honestly, don't people get enough real-world whining on their Facebook feeds? Everyone should have close family & friends (or a counsellor, therapist etc.) to share all those negatives and complaints with directly - public social media isn't a healthy or appropriate support network. Personally I'm super emotionally sensitive so it's really damaging to me mentally to be exposed to too much negativity and complaining, it would likely destroy me if everyone I followed online started publicly sharing all their negativity & complaints everyday! People being perceived as "deceitful" simply because they're mature & healthy enough not to air their private affairs online is so strange to me, I suppose it really is because those complaining about it aren't happy within themselves. But anyway! Yes yes yes on all counts, I completely agree with this post!

    (PS - Just thought I'd leave this link on the phrase "first world problems" as well: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/11/whats-wrong-with-firstworldproblems/248829/)

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  5. Social media has such a power in our lives that sometimes we forget that we make our own social media: so if we only share the beautiful and not the bad and the ugly, then we only get to see the good parts in life, and not the bad ones. Instagram only captures the good moments of the day, and not the bad ones (did anyone ever post a picture on Instagram after leaving home without an umbrella and arrive at work completely wet? no, because that isn't the best part of the day!). Very good post to remind us every time we spend too much time thinking about how we wanted our lives to be perfect. Enjoy social media, but don't enjoy it too much! xx

    http://351lisbon.blogspot.pt/

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  6. Well said, and I tend to fall in the other camp -- not necessarily that the bads always have to be documented (although thoughtful blog posts revealing difficulties are apt and insightful I think, not sure how something like that could be achieved on Instagram) but that they do add depth to life. But you are right in the sense that these are first world problems and it shows maturity to realize any of our "bad" days are really relatively trivial. And that practicing positivity online is a form of discipline in itself.

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  7. Sophie, this is a wonderful blog post. I loved the article you link to, and whilst true in so many ways, I love your stance here. What is so wrong with sharing and celebrating the positive! They're the bits to highlight and look back on surely!

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  8. I couldn't agree more.


    Of course we all have bad days and/or situations that aren't pleasant but who wants to relive it, especially for the world to see?! The last thing I want to read is a long winded blog post about how much someones life sucks. And, in no way do I want to see or share sad pictures on Instagram... The whole thing is so pathetic it's humorous.


    If a persons individual preference is to moan and complain on social media -more power to them- just don't get nasty and defensive because the next person prefers to reflect on and share their happy moments. This has been an on going theme, especially in blogging, and it's kind of bully-ish. The quote you printed says it all - if you're jealous the problem is you.

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  9. This is so true. We hate those who moan about their lives constantly on facebook and twitter, sharing their misery with us when we don't want to hear it, yet we also despise the ones who are (or appear to be) parading their incredible lives! They're not doing that at all, they're taking advantage of social media as the easy and exciting way to document our happy moments that it is. We should all be doing the same, and maybe eventually we'll be able to look at our own instagram accounts one day and think of how jealous other people might be of us. Molly x

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  10. Very well said, and puts a great perspective on the topic. Couldn't agree more!

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  11. Thank you so much for sharing this, I truly resonated with your perspective and honesty. You're such an inspiration!

    http://www.thebalancedtraveler.com/

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  12. Alyssa Wible11/15/2014

    So, so true! Recently read an apologetic blog post that highlighted the fact that things weren't always perfect, etc. No need to apologize!

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  13. I also wonder why sharing only good things upsets some people. I think when people share too much that is a turn off. I believe in having a private life offline. I mean that's like cleaning your house before you have guests. Does that mean you're fake bc you cleaned just for them? No, it means you cared and tried. I think that is the normal for most people.

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  14. I know some people seem to like blogs that focus on things like illness and even death, but I'm not one of them. I have two young children and spend all day taking care of them, so in my spare time, I enjoy reading about fun things like clothing and makeup. I also like to write about things that are fun and interesting to me as an escape from my fairly quiet life. I'm never going to be an artist living in England, but through your blog, I can get a glimpse of that life and it's become something I really look forward to each day. :)


    I also think blogs are like magazines or other publications, and if you were being interviewed or having your home photographed, you would want to look at polished as possible. There's nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward.

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  15. Annabel11/15/2014

    Such a well put post, and so true. I always do try and leave a part of my life offline and not via Twitter and Instagram, even just to gain some perspective!

    Annabel ♥
    Mascara & Maltesers

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  16. I kind of have to disagree. I think its important to share the shitty parts so other people going through the same tough times know they aren't the only ones. Everyone else goes through bad times as well & if its not talked about people often think there is something wrong with them when really they are completely normal. Plus some people use their blogs as an outlet & I have always believed its important to get everything out rather than keep it on the inside. Though I guess thats what your friends and family are for. Though I love reading positive posts too I'd rather read a blog that is real & I often feel like people who are super positive all the time are not relatable.

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  17. While I totally understand where you're coming from and I do agree that knowing other people are going through similar things can reassure others that they're "normal" and other people are going through or feeling the same things.. I think it's up to each individual to choose what they want to share and what they want to withhold. I also think it's unfair to insist that just because someone chooses not to share the bad parts - or that they don't actually have any to share in the first place - that they are "less real" than other people who do share those bad moments.


    Like I said in my post, I rarely have anything to complain about. I recognise how privileged I am. I mean, the last "bad" thing to happen to me was I smashed my glass jar to the cafetiere and that was at least three months ago. Now, if that isn't something ridiculously petty to complain about I don't know what is. Why would I share that? Why would I even complain about it? Seriously, my life is GOOD. I don't share anything bad because nothing bad happens and I don't say that in a flippant, arrogant way. I am unbelievably grateful for that. Not a single day goes by that I don't remind myself that I should be thankful my life is as happy as it is. That doesn't make me any "less real" than someone else; it doesn't mean I'm "keeping it all inside." It means I respect and appreciate everything I have. I try to remain positive in every situation because negative energy is toxic. If that makes me unrelatable to some people, so be it. We are all different; we're not always going to be relatable to everyone we come across.


    We should all have the freedom to share what we want to online and not feel criticised for doing so.

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  18. I think it's important to think about what we share online and how that can affect others around us.

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  19. I feel the same way. Negative energy is toxic and I try to avoid it wherever possible. Of course, I read about the things that are important and world news is part of that, but when it comes to blogs - I don't want to see someone moaning about the petty things. I want to explore other people's lives.

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  20. I will never understand why people get so upset over people sharing positive, beautiful things but I can only put it down to jealously and envy. I think you put it in such a good way, I'd never thought of it like that but it's so true!

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  21. Ugh. I don't expect anyone to be perfect just like I don't expect anyone to be happy all the time. But I do think it's important to surround ourselves with positivity and to always try to see the positive in people, things, and situations.

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  22. What an amazing comment - thank you so much.

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  23. Thank you for reading, Katie.

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  24. We can't win, right? You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.


    I can't see why we can't all just let each other do our own things. Why do people get so upset about other people's content on the internet? It definitely feels like jealousy when someone is complaining about someone else's life being "perfect."

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  25. "The last thing I want to read is a long winded blog post about how much someones life sucks."


    I couldn't agree with your comment more - you can it spot on. I can't abide by people complaining online especially when it's written by a middle class blogger on their mac book. I think people need to check their privileges and realise how fortunate they really are.

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  26. Sometimes there aren't any bad bits to leave out and I don't understand why some people don't see this. Jealousy? Envy? Spite? I don't know.

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  27. I definitely agree, the dark illuminates the light and adds depth to life. But not everyone has bad moments worth complaining about.


    I literally have nothing to complain about because I am a middle class white woman who is a young professional living in a nice house; I have no money problems, I have a boyfriend who I never argue with, and I have a supportive network of friends and family - what the hell do I have to complain about? I would feel like a HUGE idiot for even contemplating moaning online about my life.


    Anything really bad (like the death of a family member) is too personal for me to put online, which is where I draw the line. If people want to share that, fine, but I choose not to and shouldn't be criticised for that decision or accused of not "being real."


    I can see both sides.. but I also see the vast majority of people getting upset over people "showing off their highlight reel" on instagram are also super privileged people who should know better.

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  28. I think it's important to remember not everyone sees the bad stuff in real life either. We don't share everything with everyone all the time, whether it's online or offline.


    I don't need to tell my friends and family every time I get caught in the rain or stub my toe or do the laundry or work on admin or take out the trash, people know those things happen without me telling them.. so why do people insist we need to share that stuff online?

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  29. I completely agree with not sharing those first world problems. Some people do act as if their whole life is horrible over some insignificant thing when really there life is great. I am more talking about BIGGER issues, like mental illness, financial problems etc. I actually find you really relatable and real thats why I visit your blog so much so I hope you didn't take that as me saying you personally are not real.

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  30. Negative energy is really toxic and I try to stay away from it. I actively try to surround myself with positive, enthusiastic people. People who appreciate what they have in life and how fortunate they are. I don't want negative nancys bringing me down just because they had a bad day at work!


    Thanks for the link. I've actually come across this argument quite a lot and I don't agree with it; I use the phrase "first world problems" to remind myself there are people who are suffering far worse than me. Sure, they might share the same problems as me (poor internet connection, broken car, shopping decisions, etc.).. but I don't share the worst of their problems. Nowhere even close. I don't think there is a problem with using the phrase so long as it is used in a way to remind yourself to stop moaning about the petty things.

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  31. "Spreading positivity/happiness is the only way forward"


    YES. Always focus on the positive.

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  32. I was starting to feel I was the only one!

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  33. Thanks for reading, Mimmi

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  34. Absolutely not at all! It's something a lot of people say so I was addressing in a more general term, I never took offence in the slightest.


    I actually agree with the mental illness and financial problems, etc. I think it's important we discuss these things. But I also think it's important we recognise that not everyone wants to read about it for various reasons. Personally I dislike reading about mental health because there are a few topics that make me incredibly sad and uncomfortable because of memories and experiences with friends, family members, and personal reasons. For other people it's a relief to connect with others through discussing these issues online and, of course, I completely support that. But others simply don't want to discuss it because it makes them uncomfortable or.. they're just not interested. That might make them seem cruel or unkind but it's entirely up to them whether they want to see/read about it.


    The most important thing, I think, is recognising we all want difference things from our experiences online and no single reason is more just or important than anyone else's.


    Thanks for reading my post and leaving such insightful comments, I really appreciate it :))

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  35. I really appreciate this. I always describe myself as a "glass half-full" kind of person, and love the opportunity to spread joy so easily via social media. I have never thought of it as editing out the negative stuff, but rather choosing to focus more on the positive. I compare it to the way we pay attention to our appearances before going out. We are going to brush our teeth and put on some clothes other than our bathrobe, and tame our crazy bedhead without giving it a second thought. That doesn't mean we are lying about having looked like a mess 20 minutes ago, i just means that we put a little pride in how we choose to be seen.

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  36. This was an interesting read and I'm sure the comments will be equally thought-provoking.
    Regardless of what its founders intended, Instagram has grown to be a place to share captures of "perfect" moments, whether manufactured or not. I love seeing gorgeous pictures of other people's experiences and things just as much as the next person but at the same time, I do think there has to be some amount of balance between the pretty and the not-so-pretty. With some people, I understand why it would make sense to focus only on the positive. If I'm following a certain brand or popular blogger, it's because I like the product they are "selling" (perhaps not in a literal sense at times). For those types of accounts, it wouldn't make sense to necessarily have the negative. In following some accounts, I know that the only images I'll be seeing will be professional, sterilized, or both and that's okay with me. When I follow people I know in real life though, I definitely expect to see a little less of the good. If I know you in real life and have some sort of knowledge of your day-to-day life, I feel like it's really jarring to see a front that you may present online. That being said, I know that some people see Instagram perhaps as a way of escaping whatever ugliness may exist in their normal lives so who am I to say that they must coordinate their Instagram accounts to what realities they may face. All in all, I think the direction an Instagram account takes is really dependent on each individual user and his/her followers so no one single set of rules can necessarily apply. It's more about determining what you prefer and then maybe only following accounts that fall within your preference range.
    For me personally, I keep things positive 90% of the time just because that's what I like. On the occasions where I do post something that might be considered slightly more negative (even if it is just a "first-world problem"), I try to approach things with a sense of humor. If I can make a joke that makes me or someone else laugh, then that's good enough for me. At the end of the day, Instagram can really only capture a fleeting moment or image so really, you can't expect what you find there to be the be-all, end-all of things.

    P.S. A while back, I read a really interesting article about why the term "first-world problem" is problematic. It mostly seemed to boil down to two things: 1) Our perceptions of first vs. second vs. third world countries differ very greatly from the categorizations that actually exist and 2) The reason(s) why such a term was actually coined in the first place. I mention this only because I used this term in my comment and since it seemed relevant to the discussion at hand. I think talking about the use of the term could probably open up an entire new can of worms in regards to discussions of the inherent privilege(s) associated with being active on Instagram, having the ability to cultivate certain perceptions, our discussion of such topics, etc.

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  37. This is an amazing post. I think there is nothing wrong with celebrating the happy, pretty things in life and sharing them!

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  38. Great Post Sophie! If a person thinks a blog is too happy, positive, etc. why don't they just try another site or blog?

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  39. UGH, ALL OF THIS. I have a friend who constantly reminds people to "be careful" of what they post on Instagram and social networks because this could lead other people to be envious, etc etc. And I'm like, I'll post a picture of the damn Eiffel Tower if I want to! It's so annoying because the unfollow option is always there, and it's so easy to see those posts as aspirational instead of a source of envy.

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  40. Yep i understand. I'm very grateful I don't have many negative things going on!

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  41. You're absolutely right, we really don't need to share those kind of things online but that's a big trend in social media, just sharing every single minute of your life! I believe your approach to social media changes as you grow up and eventually you will find your balance and have a good relationship with social media, by knowing exactly what kind of things you want to share with a restrict group of people.

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  42. You have articulated what I have been thinking, but didn't know how to say! I completely agree that we should enjoy seeing someone's highlight reel, and feel happy for them.

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  43. "I have never thought of it as editing out the negative stuff, but rather choosing to focus more on the positive."


    I totally agree; it's not about "hiding" the negative, it's about promoting positivity.

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  44. I'm aware of the argument that using "first world problems" is problematic but I disagree. I use it as a way of reminding myself that "someone has it worse than me" and to remind myself (and others) that, regardless of how we're feeling right now, someone would gladly take our place in a heartbeat.

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  45. Thank you for reading and commenting, Madeline.

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  46. Exactly. There are plenty of blogs and social media accounts to choose from, we all pick the ones we associate more with or those that show us what we want to see. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to share positivity.

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  47. "I'll post a picture of the damn Eiffel Tower if I want to!"


    This comment is PERFECT.

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  48. Absolutely. Or if they don't want to see happy moments and positivity, they can go somewhere else. No one is making us follow each and every social media account, we can pick and choose freely. I don't see how one side is "more real" than another, we all filter our content whether it's mostly good OR bad.

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  49. Preach, sister! People who complain on social media make me want to vomit. "First world problems" really is the best way to describe it. I'd much rather celebrate the beautiful than dwell on the imperfections.

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  50. Nicola Wood11/16/2014

    I agree, but think that context and balance are key. Shit does happen and telling people about it is okay. As is sharing that things are fine and you've done something fun. What you don't want is dig yourself into such a corner, that you can't admit things aren't okay or ask for help when you're struggling.

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  51. Please don't take my comment as an attack of any kind. I personally also use the term "first world problems" so I'm in no position to judge anyone else. I added that comment at the end merely as a means of facilitating discussion; there was no intention of making anyone feel bad about his/her choice of words.

    In re-reading my comment, I can see how I may have come across as a little aggressive. Once again, please understand that I did not mean to be confrontational and I apologize if my words felt harsh.

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  52. Oh no! I think it's more I come across as defensive or a bit too aggressive-assertive! I have a tendency to sound like that online - but I promise I'm not :)) You definitely didn't do anything wrong at all and I appreciate your comment greatly. No offense taken and hopefully none made either?

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  53. Absolutely - and what's so wrong with that? I don't see how being positive can be twisted into such a cruel and ill-natured thing.

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  54. Absolutely. I'm all for being sharing whatever they want so long as it's understood that people can pick and choose between what they want to look at. I think there are very few people who are consciously trying to make their lives look 100% "perfect" - I share the pretty things in my life but I don't do it to imply my life is perfect. And you're right, I think it's important to remember if we do only share the good, we mustn't trap ourselves into a hole where we are unable to ask for help when we need it.

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  55. Since when is taking pretty photos a bad thing? I would much rather see stunning, envy worthy shots on my feed than drab and uninspirational shots! Just as long as it's not every 5 seconds then I like the flurry of imagery, it's nice to escape for a moment through someone else life.

    Hanh x | hanhabelle

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  56. So true. I often find myself wondering why there's people that are literally LOOKING for something to get offended about. Why that need to feel and spread negativity?


    It's pretty obvious that nobody's life is perfect, we all have problems sometimes, but normally people try to evade from them when they go into the internet, and that's fine with me.

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  57. I agree! I get inspired by people's beautiful Instagrams. I have to look at my own messy bedroom floor, I don't want to look at other people's too ;)
    I do like it when bloggers mention something which reminds us that it isn't their whole lives though. It kinda pulls it back into perspective, but all the same, I like the pretty images! Great post, I'll share on Twitter. x

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  58. No offense made or taken!

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  59. Nothing annoys me more than people airing their dirty laundry on social media. If you have a fall out with your partner, it's between the two of you, no one else. There are also the people who are so paranoid that everything is a dig at them, and become so paranoid about the most innocent things because they interpret it in the wrong way. I love Instagram because I can document things that have happened in my life. A group of us are going to NYC next month so we're thinking up a hashtag to use so afterwards we can all look back at snippets of our trip in one place. It's not to make other jealous, just to enjoy.

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  60. Melea Truelove11/19/2014

    While i MOSTLY agree with you, I do believe that putting some "bad times" on social media can be beneficial. I only say this because not everyone sees posts like these, stating that you really enjoy sharing the joyous, the beautiful, the exciting moments of life and why you feel that way. That is how you choose to mold your own personal social media platform. That is your right. Personally, I believe in balance. 90% of my social media is positive, happy things, because i want people to see me as a positive, happy person, but also i want them to know that i have bad days too. I have bad days, and I choose to find at least one good thing that happened that day, or find some humor in my situation, or appreciate one beautiful sunset, or flower, or book, or quote. When you do this, you let people know how you react to distress. And you broadcast those feelings, and people who see these feelings know that is ok to feel like crap, but your positive attitude about negative things inspires them to always try to look on the bright side. Life isn't all about the "good days." One of my favorite quotes is "Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day." Life is about finding the good. Why not try to help others find that good?

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  61. Melea Truelove11/19/2014

    I agree with you. Perspective can be distorted, and seeing the people whose words we read state that they are just like us, having a bad day, brings us back down to earth.

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  62. i'm totally with you on this. and honestly we all have those people on our facebook feeds (that we know in real life that we'd feel bad deleting) that are always posting whingey statuses that you don't care to read. if everyone posted all the mundane little things that go wrong as well as the big tragedies not only would it be boring and a downer, but i bet there would be a whole heap of backlash about complaining all the time. you can't please everyone, but social media/blogging/most of what i look at + enjoy on the internet is for fun anyway, and i personally prefer to keep the negative stuff more private. if it upsets you so much to see other people having a good life, then there is something wrong with the way you are seeing things, and you need to work on your own jealousy and do things that will make you happier with what you've got rather than feeling bad about it.

    little henry lee

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  63. "Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day."


    I like that quote a lot. I believe in positivity; I believe in helping others see the good in every day. I also believe that not everyone has bad days, or rather, what one person perceives as a bad day another person sees as a chance to learn from instead of dwell on.

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  64. Absolutely. I am 100% with you on this.

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  65. I think there are some things just not worth documenting online.

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  66. I agree that I don't want to see negative or whingey posts from people (who does?) but equally people need to remember when they're looking at someone's beautiful Instagram feed that they *are* only posting the best bits and leaving out the bad. It's too easy to fall into the comparison trap if you forget that. I try to keep my Instagram pictures positive and bright as those are the kinds of photos I want to see.

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  67. Completely agree with this, people can get too wrapped up in jealousy and there is no use in negative energy. A very interesting read :)
    Hannah x
    Hanniemc.co.uk

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  68. Twinkiethekid3/23/2015

    Having read your post, I agree with you to an extent. It's frustrating to read people spewing negativity about really mundane things. That said, I think some bloggers could also follow the old adage, 'money talks and wealth whispers.' Perhaps every new $250 candle and $90 toddler shirt doesn't need to be shared in photoshopped perfection. It just feels like the other end of the spectrum of lies. In my opinion, people who complain all of the time lie to themselves and others just as much as people who present only a picture of luxe perfection. Thanks for the post. Thought provoking to say the least.

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  69. Agreed. I don't mind a little bit of complaints now and then but I would much rather focus on the positives most of the time. :)

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  70. Oh, I agree. I think it's obvious when people are trying to appear 'flashy' and wealthier than they actually are.. although I tend to be of the opinion that, if you don't like what someone is doing, distance yourself from it.

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  71. I totally agree, but would like to make one observation. People should be positive and real. I never use social media to lash out at people--no matter how much they deserve it--or even to make inferences to the drama. I cannot say that at times I am not tempted. I don't air my family's dirty laundry either. I do, however, post about real life "negatives" that can be spun into a positive or for a laugh--like cooking disasters or encounters with crazy people I meet along the way. Honestly, you can find something to laugh about in just about any situation--negative or not. My problem with the always positive camp is when it paints a total illusion. I recently met up with an online friend whose social media presence sure paints a different picture than her real life presence. I was saddened and horrified at her relationships and treatment of her children in real life compared to her perceived relationships with them. Sometimes it is best to just be invisible on social media instead of working so hard at being positive. And I will end on that positive note. :)

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  72. if i am in a bad mood or having a rough time, i do my best to not talk about it online. life is too short to put that negativity out in the universe. for the most part i try to have everything i put into cyberspace to be supportive or positive or happy or pretty or funny. would hate to have people remember me for being a bitch or miserable. i mean, live every moment as if it were your last and write every tweet as though it were your last, too! ha!
    :)

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  73. really love the "distance yourself" suggestion. i find that to be best for me.

    thanks for this post!

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  74. I arrived here via your link in the comments of another blog where that blogger responded to you rather rudely. Just want to say that I love this post and your perspective. Thanks for sharing the beauty in your life.

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  75. Ah, thank you. I didn't mean to cause a stir.. I guess not everyone enjoys an open discussion about these things - I'm glad you enjoyed my take on social media, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!

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  76. That was how I found it too. :)

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  77. John Standanko3/30/2015

    Much like your complaining now? My point is sometimes it is a natural flow. We cannot all be flowers and giggles all the time. Even in your response above, you show a complaint.

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  78. taylormadegirl4/04/2015

    This is how I found it too <3 ... I'm a bi time daydreamer so I like to get lost in the "perfect" lives of others

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  79. I agree with you in that I don't like people who wine and complain too much on social media, but I don't think we should be so dismissive of people's struggles as all "first world problems." There is a popular phrase that one is "too blessed to be stressed," but even when you are grateful for what you have, it doesn't mean that life isn't sometimes hard. A huge part of the population struggles with anxiety, depression and other mental illness, and being open about about those challenges often helps others. In fact, if we are all forced to only share the up times, it only further stigmatizes those issues, which is the opposite of what we need. One of my friends had a friend who shares her issues with addiction and her recovery on Facebook, and she receives a massive amount of positive comments that has really helped support her along her journey. Also, the goings on in the world are not always positive, and one of the ways I use social media the most is to read news and think pieces. For example, the shooting in Charleston last week was very tragic, and it has spurred a lot of discourse about important social issues. I have read so many thoughtful articles, tweets, and Instagram posts that wouldn't fall under the category of pretty, positive things, but they are none the less important and are enriching to my life. I think that brings up another point that this topic dances around. Many social media accounts that share only the pretty moments in life are very materialistic and shallow. When you see people who only post about their manicures and their smoothie bowls, sometimes it seems like they are out of touch with the world. I'm not saying that people who write lifestyle blogs are bad (I do have one!), but it is important to keep life in balance. At the end of the day, I want to be compassionate, and engage with the experiences of others.


    Your post was thoughtful, and I wanted to also leave a thoughtful comment about my perspective.

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  80. I really appreciate your comment and I agree with a lot of what you've said, it's made me realise that I haven't been as clear in my original post as I could have been.


    I didn't intend to dismiss other people's problems as "first world problems," I only meant I see my own that way. I meant to say that my problems are very minor; I am VERY fortunate and privileged to lead a content life with very little to complain about - if anything at all - and I was only trying to be honest when I said that, not belittle anyone else's problems. I suffer from a panic disorder, but I don't like sharing that online because I feel that it's minor compared to what a lot of people go through plus my attitude is "just get on with it." I'm not saying other people shouldn't share their issues, only that I prefer not to - I prefer to stay positive, it's how I cope when anything bad happens. I wouldn't ever want people to think I am stigmatising people who do share their issues with addiction or depression or any other mental or physical illness and I apologise if my post came across that way. I only meant to talk from a personal point of view. I think it's amazing people use their blogs to work through problems they face, that can only ever be a positive thing. I was talking more about the people who think we should all share our messy apartments instead of posting immaculate white rooms because that's "more authentic." I was trying to point out that, if other people's social media accounts make someone feel like they don't have a good life, that says more about the person looking at it.


    I also completely agree with using social media to stay in touch with the world; I use social media to read the news, but I only meant that personally, I don't like to read lifestyle blogs about these issues and I guess that's just a personal preference. I didn't intend for the post to come across as if I think all of the internet should be positive and of course, not everything in life is positive and I'm not saying it should be. I'm only talking about blogs and, if we're honest with ourselves, a lot of the people who blog are in privileged position to be able to do so.


    I don't think that just because someone wants to see the positive in life that it means they are shallow or materialistic. I don't think that lifestyle, beauty, or fashion blogs are shallow and dumb just because they write about those things - I that opinion is very narrowminded. Not every blog needs to talk about tough issues or discuss mental health and not every blog that looks "perfect" means the person behind it is shallow or inauthentic.


    Just because I write a blog about the things I enjoy and don't share when a family member has died or I've had a panic attack, doesn't mean I'm not engaged or out of touch with the world. It just means I want to keep those things private. I appreciate and acknowledge my privilege and I understand that my issues are very minor compared to a lot of people's. I don't have an issue with anyone else talking about them on their blog - but I also see a lot of people complaining about nothing, like how social media makes them feel bad about their lives.


    I really appreciate your comment and it's definitely made me realise I could have been much clearer with what I originally wrote. Thank you.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this post and leave a comment - I read and respond to as many as possible. Please feel free to leave a link to your blog but please do not advertise or post links to giveaways, these comments will be deleted. Thank you.



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